Rage Averted

Ok, so as first posts go, this won't set a great precedent. But my journey home was characterised by one moment of extreme stupidity and happily fixed - or at least turned to entertainment. A middle-aged woman started it (it's always them. If they're young, it's being ditzy; if they're old, it's being senile; but if you're middle-aged, you will be despised for your incompetence.) . She pressed the pedestrian crossing and the light turned green so she crossed the road - so far so good. I saw a red light so I stopped - no problems there. But as the light turned to green for me and red to her, she was still in the middle of the road. She wasn't walking slow or had innocently tripped. Instead this moron was talking on her phone and eating a sandwich at the same time and wandering this way and that across the crossing, saying "I can't see you anywhere. Could you wave or something?"

Firstly, it's fucking rude to eat while on the phone. I can't see you're eating and speak accordingly so either there are long gaps in the conversation and I think you're not listening or I can hear your horrible munching noises down the phone, which you are still inexplicably holding next to your mouth. I'm thankful that video calling hasn't caught on yet because otherwise I'd have to see your half-digested food as well. Talk to me then finish your sandwich. Or better yet, eat your food then call me to find out where I am. From now on, if I ever hear food noises down the phone I'm hanging up.

Back to the moment (yes, I managed to get that thought process done before she'd finished being insane). I sat on my bike, too amazed to do anything. But thankfully the taxi driver next to me had the sense, experience and hatred of pedestrians to first beep his horn and then lean out of the window and shout, "Get out of the fucking road, bitch!"

That fixed my mood and, although I got cut up a couple more times before I got home and an old man parked his bike diagonally in front of me at a crossing so I couldn't get past without lifting myself first onto the pavement and off again, it was a decent enough cycle ride home.

So I leave you with this thought of bus travel from an experience last year instead:
 If 2 buses have driven past you, full of people, without stopping and made you late for work, please try not to harangue the bus driver who does stop to let you on for 15 minutes and make the rest of us late for work too. You'll only eventually get thrown off the bus and waste more of your own time.

P.S. This post certainly will set a precedent in sentence length and incoherence. Read carefully.